A Clockwork Affair | Chapter Four

I was dreaming of Alessa.

We were standing in a field, and she was running to me while calling my name, a smile spread across her beautiful face. A face I thought I would never see again. I opened my arms to receive her, when suddenly Alessa was gone. Ashelia took her place, only Ashelia wasn’t smiling – she was crying.

“Hyde! Hyde!”

I awoke with a start. My dream hadn’t exactly been a dream, apparently. Ashelia sat on the edge of my bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she shook me awake. “Hyde, wake up! Please!”

I sat up groggily, blinking the sleep from my eyes. My heart throbbed in my chest, afraid of what was happening. Was she hurt? Had something malfunctioned? I tried to speak but the sight of her in her sleeping clothes took me aback. I had never seen her dressed this way before and it made me trip over my words like a fool. I cleared my throat, forcing myself to meet her gaze. “Ashelia, what is it? What’s happened?”

“There’s someone outside,” She told me frightfully, “There’s someone outside looking into my bedroom.” Her hands clutched my arms and I felt her whole body shaking. She was blanched white with fear.

I felt myself growing tense with anger and worry. I shushed her quietly as I climbed out of bed, which was hard considering she was still clutching me tightly. “Ashelia, listen to me. Stay here, alright? Stay here, and I’ll go look into it.”

“Hyde…” She whispered shakily.

“Ashelia.” My voice was stern, and she nodded.

“Be careful.” I heard her call out as I left the bedroom and ran for the front door.

I didn’t even consider bringing a weapon. I also didn’t consider putting on better clothing. Snow had been falling for some time, apparently, and the winter chill was harsh. My blood was boiling enough to keep me warm, however, as I silently rounded the house to reach the side where Ashelia’s bedroom window was.

There was no one there, but I had guessed they wouldn’t stick around once they realized Ashelia knew of their presence. I knew she hadn’t just been seeing things – I could see footprints in the snow right outside her window. I clenched my fists in anger as I tried to backtrack the footprints. They lead into the small cluster of trees behind my house, and ended at the highway. Surely they’d had their car parked there for an easy getaway.

I felt my anger growing. I knew who had done this; there was only one possibility.

Lounds Hollister.

Just the thought of him made me seethe.

I took a deep breath, letting the cold night air clear my thoughts. I would deal with him soon enough – for now, I had to comfort Ashelia.

I returned to find her still shaking as she sat on my bed, a candlestick held tightly in her hand. I wanted to laugh, but refrained. I walked over and pried the candlestick away from her, setting it aside before I took hold of her hand.

“If you think I was seeing things –“ She began, and I cut her off.

“I know you weren’t seeing things, Ashelia. There are footprints in the snow.”

Her eye widened. “Snow?” She asked, and it occurred to me that this was technically her first ever snow. She had never seen it before, not up close. I smiled and nodded.

“I’ll take care of this, Ashelia. I promise you. Whatever I have to do, I’ll do it. And I’ll start with that reporter. Alright?”

She nodded, taking a deep breath. She was still shaky and cold and I couldn’t blame her. A fright like that would upset anyone. “Hyde, in the meantime …” She said, “Can I get some curtains?”

I nodded. “Of course, Ashelia. I’ll find some for you tomorrow.”

That seemed to comfort her a bit. I wouldn’t let her go back to her room and insisted she sleep in my bed. I sat beside her while she curled up and eventually fell asleep, her breathing quiet and even. I won’t lie – it was nice to not have an empty bed again. Looking at her in the shadows of the dimmed lamp, she looked just like Alessa and it was hard not to lie down beside her and embrace her as tightly as I could. But she wasn’t Alessa, and I had to keep reminding myself of that.

Eventually I rose and went to sit at my desk, making notes of things I needed to do in the coming days, number one being to deal with Lounds.

Once the sun rose, I found some curtains tucked away in storage and went to put them up over Ashelia’s windows. They didn’t give me much comfort, but I planned to invest in some fencing and perhaps an alarm system that covered the outer perimeter. I could probably rig up one of those myself. Once that was done, I took to my study to do some digging on Lounds. I was able to dig up a phone number I called immediately, but it went to voicemail. When that didn’t work, I found contact information for his boss at the Midnight Tattle. After being put through the ringer to get to her, she informed me that Lounds had cashed in vacation time and had been out of town for the last four days. He wouldn’t be back for another week.

I didn’t know if I felt relieved or even more worried. If Lounds hadn’t been the one outside Ashelia’s window, who had it been? And why? My head was swimming. Moreover, I still had a score to settle with Lounds for posting his trashy article about myself and Ashelia. I was used to the gossips of this town and what they said about me, but they had no right to bring her into any of it.

I felt suffocated, and began to pace the house. I ended up in the foyer with my guitar in my hands, strumming it quietly. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d played – before Alessa died, I’m sure – and it felt good to hold it again.

I don’t know how long I had been strumming when Ashelia approached me, freshly showered and fully dressed. I pushed aside thoughts of her in her nightgown as I greeted her.

“Ashelia,” I said as I placed my guitar back on its rack. “How are you doing?”

“Hiii.” She said sheepishly, and I could see a hint of blush in her cheeks. “I’m fine, Hyde, thank you.” She took a breath. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

I frowned. “What for?”

“For last night.” She shook her head. “I barged into your bedroom and then I slept there … anyway, it was rude and thoughtless and I’m kinda embarrassed and I’m sorry.”

She averted her gaze and I smiled softly. She was clearly embarrassed and I felt bad, although she had nothing to be embarrassed about. I told her as much.

“Ashelia, please. You have nothing to apologise for. You were frightened, and besides, I wouldn’t have allowed you to sleep alone.” I told her honestly. She nodded and smiled, but I couldn’t tell if she was comforted any. I managed to change the subject by mentioning having a late brunch and her face quickly brightened.

We ate quickly, and as I was clearing away the dishes, I noticed Ashelia looking out the window in wonder. She watched the snow falling with awe shining on her face and it made me smile. She looked at things the way a child might look at them, with sheer wonder and innocence. I couldn’t help but think that the world might be a better place if more people looked at it through eyes like hers.

After setting the dishwasher, I returned to where Ashelia still stood gazing out the window.

I knew I had to be careful. I knew I should keep her locked away from prying eyes. But she was human, or as human as one can be without actually being born from humans. I couldn’t keep her caged and sheltered forever. And if one thing was certain, it was that people like Lounds Hollister would get to us one way or another, no matter how careful we were.

I cleared my throat. “Ashelia, how would you like to visit the park?”

We went to the park near our home, but I was wary of it. There were more people there than I expected. And much to my dismay, the snow had stopped falling. I had wanted Ashelia to experience it firsthand. I was sure it wouldn’t be the last snowfall of the winter, but still …

Ashelia didn’t seem to mind, however. She was happy to be out of the house, so much so that she began to get emotional over some plants that were growing nearby.

I called her over and she dried her eyes as she ran to me, her emotions quickly forgotten as she joyously burst into some form of playful joking manner. I laughed and joined in with her, and that made her laugh as well.

“Who knew you could be playful?” She asked, giggling, and I shrugged my shoulders.

“Not even me.” I told her, and it was true. I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed this way, or felt carefree or playful. I had always been a practical man of science but I at least had a sense of humour. I thought that had died with Alessa. But ever since Ashelia had been brought into my life, I found myself feeling more and more lighthearted.

After a while, we left to go to another park. It was one I liked much better, with a beautiful lake and a gazebo seating area.

Ashelia ‘ooh-ed’ as she walked onto the bridge, looking over the edge at the icy water below. Despite the cold weather, lily pads still floated along the surface and water flowers danced in the breeze. I watched her, and learnt that I found awe in her awe. How could someone look at everything with such wonder? Then I remembered … because it’s all so new to her. I had no idea what kind of memories where alchemically fabricated for her, but I knew that everything she saw and experienced now was the very first time, no matter what. Even the smallest, simplest things. Like lily pads on an icy lake in winter. She was the purest soul I would ever encounter, and she wasn’t even born of this world. Not naturally. I still harboured some guilt for my actions, but then when I looked at her, I saw a miracle, not a mistake. Perhaps that was what she was.

“Ashelia.” I said softly, simply to hear her name on my tongue, the name I had made up for her entirely out of the blue.

She turned to face me, her cheeks rosy in the crisp winter air. “Yes, Hyde?”

“Well…” I felt nervous because I planned to speak to her in a slightly bolder manner than I was used to. But I was an honest man and I wanted her to know how I felt. “Ashelia, I just wanted to express how much I’ve enjoyed our time together. You’re a wonderful person and you’ve brought something into my home and my life, something good that I hadn’t realized I needed until now. You’ve made me far less lonely…and far less like the strange mad-man that this town has believed me to be for so long.”

I could feel my heartbeat quickening as I spoke. There was more I wanted to say but I felt I should leave it at that when I saw the look on her face. She seemed confused at first, but once the words sank in, a smile touched her lips, lighting up her whole face.

The next thing I knew, she had her arms around me. I was taken aback, but returned the embrace greedily, albeit shamefully. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had held me that way, and the warmth of her seeped into me like a roaring fire. I could feel her heart beating against her chest and mine, accompanied by a faint ticking sound that I assumed was coming from the pocket watch on her vest.

She pulled away and looked at me, still smiling.

“Hyde, it means so much to hear you say that. I mean, for a few reasons.” She gave a nervous little laugh and averted her gaze for the moment, but when she returned it to me, I felt like I was the only person in the world, at least in her violet eye. “It makes me happy that you’re not lonely anymore. At first, I thought you seemed so lonely and sad … and I feel bad for saying that … but it’s ok cos you’re not anymore!” Another nervous laugh. “And also, I was afraid I was becoming a burden to you. I love living with you. I love the things we do, even when we just read books and sit around. Your home feels like my home, but I’ve been thinking of trying to leave just to get out of your hair …”

“I would never ask that of you, Ashelia.” I told her, my heart lurching at the thought of her venturing out on her own, not just for my sake but for hers as well. She was as smart as she was aloof…I couldn’t imagine her living alone. “Honestly, never. I can hardly imagine my big, drafty house without you. Not after all this time.”

She giggled. “It hasn’t been that long, y’know.”

I felt a smile tug at my lips. “Perhaps not. But it’s time that I’ve cherished, nonetheless.”

“So you really don’t want me to leave?” She asked quietly.

“Not at all.” I told her honestly, and she laughed again.

“Oh, that’s great! I would hate living by myself. Oh man, I would be so bored!” She sighed and looked at me again. Silence fell between us, and as I took in the sight of her, I found myself resisting the urge to cradle her face and warm her cold skin with my gloved hands. I fought those kinds of thoughts away. Ashelia was lovely, inside and out, but I couldn’t think like that, not about her and not so soon after losing Alessa. I loved Ashelia’s friendship, nothing more.

But something about the way she looked at me then was intoxicating.

My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden downpour that quickly soaked us. We ran for shelter beneath the gazebo, Ashelia laughing all the way there, letting the rain continue to drench her. She was frozen by the time I called her to shelter, and she shivered as we sat down at one of the small tables there.

“That was amazing!” She laughed through chattering teeth.

I shook my head. “You’re going to get sick if we don’t get home and get you warm soon.” I chided her, though I couldn’t be entirely sure if she could even obtain an illness.

“I’ll be fine.” She assured me, wrapping her wet jacket tighter around her. “So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?”

I smiled. “Well, the bills are paid, and both my inventions and your paintings are selling well, so I’m taking the night off from the lab tonight.” I said, and watched her face light up in excitement.

“Wow! Really?! So what are you going to do?”

“We can do whatever you want.”

She gasped. “We can read? Watch a movie? Will you teach me how to tune that piano? Oh! Can we clean the fish tank? Oh wait, I want to make a pie!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her excitement over the silliest things. “We can do all of those, Ashelia. Except for cleaning the fish tank.”

“Fiiiiiine. I’ll take it.”

The rain stopped soon after and we headed home. The sun had set in the short time it took to get from the park to the house, and as we tripped through the newly formed puddles to get to the front door, I made a mental note to purchase some yard lights for times like this. I hadn’t had to worry about things like that, mostly because I never left the house.

We each went to shower in our respective bathrooms, and when I was finished, I went to find Ashelia. I expected her to be waiting in the study or the living room, ready and waiting to do all the things she was so excited for.

Instead, I found her sound asleep in her bedroom, barely even on the bed. From the looks of it, she had fallen asleep while getting dressed. The sight was pleasant, and brought a smile to my lips. She looked exhausted and happy. I supposed that getting out and about wore her out since she wasn’t all that used to it.

I dimmed the lights and shut the door as I left, returning to my bedroom. I considered going down to the lab to get in some work, but decided against it. I was tired as well.

I stopped in front of my mirror, and really looked at myself for the first time in months. Gone were the sunken, black rimmed eyes of a sleep deprived mad man playing God, along with the perpetual frown lines and tight-lipped mouth. I looked at myself and a saw a man who was slowly coming to terms with losing his wife, and very, very slowly beginning to enjoy his life again.

But also a man who felt guilty because of it.